The more I collect grey hair, the less I like hyper-masculinity. Ripped torso, puffed-up muscle don’t bring that pit-in-the-stomach feeling that they used to do. Now I prefer my man (or men, irrespective of their roles in my life) to cook, share household chores or buy tampons (if needed) without labeling them as ‘ladies work’. Heck, even the heart of my heart says (though it is a sweeping generalization) that E.men are comparatively more eco-friendly.
I felt I have been this the lone admirer of ‘woman-friendly’ man ( in case effeminate sounds repetitive) till I read that world-wide, women are started opening to the fact that beyond the barrage of hyper masochism- there lies a tiny, growing tribe of ‘girlie men’ ( credit goes to Arnold Schwarzenegger for coining this term).
So what make men who must have been bullied in their high schools as ‘sissies’-so irresistible?
E.men (aka effeminate men) tend to be more empathetic
The latest report shows that the level of empathy is decreasing throughout the world, especially among young. Amidst that, E.men seem to have this one virtue in abundance. I can trust an emasculated man to drop me at home while stranded middle of the night. It feels the E.man will give a sympathetic ear to all your genuine troubles as a woman- be it PMS or fear of pushing a baby out of your vagina or whether your breasts are showing any lumps and won’t brush them off as silly ‘ladies issues’- unlike their macho counterparts(again generalization).
E.man exudes comfort in this overtly masculine world
The hyper nationalism and right wing politics world-over have given births to mostly ultra masculine leaders like Trump, Modi, Farage or Putin. This hyper masculinity has become gagging almost. In this hullabaloo, a figure like Justin Trudeau comes off as relatable. I know he cannot be clubbed into the category of effeminate men entirely, but still the warmth this man exudes, makes me want to believe that he is equally prized in domestic chores, rearing children, lending friendly ear to spouse etc. (yes, I am judging a book by its cover).
Lastly, aren’t we already tired with in-your-face sexuality?
E.man is sexy on his own subtle way and that is absolutely non-threatening. I am so done with the on-screen and off-screen men who think that even in 2016 a woman can be swept off her feet just by looking at male rippled abs and waxed chests. And forget about the dripping maleness that made Stallone, Schwarzenegger or Vin Diesel stars in the first place. That thing is already so stale (for me, at least). I prefer my E.man any day who would rather feel shy to roam around shirtless than a John Abraham- in his tiniest brief.
My tryst with E.men till date has been nice, safe and comforting (as comforting as it can get in a highly patriarchal society). This is the time to adore, cherish and encourage men with feminine features/gestures/ ability in so-called women’s work. May the force be with them in 2017 and beyond.