The curious case of neighborhood trolls

In India, hapless politicians make up the primary target group for trolls to assault. Other than them, A-listed Bollywood stars with ‘questionable’ patriotism, cricketer who posts picture with beautiful wife in ‘so-called’ western dress, youth-driven pages with whiffs of feminism- are most loved hunting grounds for trolls.

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In any case, today, I am not keen on discussing the Indian trolls. They have ended up becoming quite passé in my book. There are other trolls to fry , especially from the neighboring countries- Pakistan and Bangladesh.  It doesn’t matter that our beloved neighbors have been at each other’s throat since 1971. Nevertheless, when it comes trolling in Indian pages, their trolls share common ground- contempt for the ‘supposed’ big daddy of SE Asia region.

But don’t befuddle the two sets of trolls by feeling that they flaunt homogeneous traits in bashing India. Each of them shows distinguished characteristics in social media pages (to keep things short, I will expound on what transpires in Facebook only).

Now, lets talk about Pakistani trolls first.

Where would you find them?

For the most part, Pakistani trolls are to be discovered in the official page of Virat Kohli, Bollywood A-listers, ScoopWhoop India, Narendra Modi, Buzzfeed and most importantly- Times of India. The last one is the gold mine encountering them.

What sets them apart from Bangladeshi Trolls?

Majority of Pakistani trolls command a predominant knowledge in written English.  Their paragraphs contain proper punctuation marks and by and large- a decent remain on grammar and spelling.

Are they creative in coining slang?

No, this honor goes to Bangladeshi trolls without a doubt.

What’s their chief weapon?

The chief weapon of Pakistani trolls is to label the entire India as a ‘cow-piss’ drinking nation. In the off chance you are enraged (as an Indian) with the term, then worry not. Our desi troll army has come up with the perfect retaliation to hurl at them- ‘camel urine’ consumer.

Anytime you try to retort back to Pakistani trolls with logical reasoning, their standard reply is- ‘all Indians drink cow-piss. So we won’t listen to you.’ No sisters and brothers. We drink Coca-Cola, Sprite and KFC’s over-priced sugar laden chillers too.

Though occasionally, when I  sip into the tea from my para tea-vendor, it does taste like boiled cow-pee with a hint of sugar and tea leaves.

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Now is the turn of Bangladeshi trolls.

Where would you find them?

 Bangladeshi trolls infest the pages of West Bengal’s home-grown celebs and popular daily such as Anandabazar Patrika. This is the hazard of sharing common mother tongue. The cumulative wrath of Bangladeshi trolls is always directed to the Bengali populace of West Bengal.

Given the cricket rivalry between India and Bangladesh led to acrimonious war of words and allegations lately, the official page of ICC is another magnet for Bangladeshi trolls. The latter accuse the former for demonstrating ‘bias’ towards India.

What sets them apart from Pakistani trolls?

The ability Bangladeshi trolls to spell English and Bengali words correctly and compose legitimate sentences-  leave lot of room to improve. But I have no doubt that they will catch up to their Pakistani brethren quickly- in terms of mastering the Queen’s dialect.

Are they creative in coining slang?

This is the one field where I think, Bangladeshi trolls have left behind trolls from any other country by an insurmountable margin. They use Necrophilia, Zoophilia, and Coprophilia to belittle pagan religion, scriptures and art. And boy, the foul language coupled with broken English and misspelled Bengali make for such a lethal combo – I must say.

What’s their chief weapon?

Like Pakistani trolls, they are interested on tossing the term gomutra(cow-piss)  left, right and centre while addressing Indian Hindus ( they assume that no other religion has been survived here since partition). Additionally, time and again, trolls of Bangladesh remind the West Bengal netizens -how much they are oppressed, neglected and belittled by the Central India.

They encourage us- the ‘pitiable’ Bengalis from WB, to secede from main land  and re-unite with the Eastern neighbor to form ‘Greater Bangla’.

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Source: http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/

When Jesus proclaimed ‘Love Thy Neighbor’- he certainly had no clue about the scale of blast from the neighborhood trolls.

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